Best Practices for Wedding Planning With Your Maid of Honor

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Best Practices for Wedding Planning With Your Maid of Honor

Wedding planning can be magical… and also strangely exhausting. Decisions pile up fast, opinions start swirling, and suddenly something that’s meant to celebrate love turns into a spreadsheet marathon. That’s where your maid of honor can become more than a helper—she can be your buffer, your laughter reset, and your reminder that this season is allowed to be joyful.

I love planning and low key, non-stressful ways. I feel like I will mostly go to my Maid of Honor for insights and wisdom. I do tend to get social anxiety so I might ask her to take over certain announcements as well. I'll definitely ask her if there is something in particular she would like to take over with no pressure. Mostly I just want to have fun together!

The best wedding planning moments with a maid of honor don’t come from cranking through to-do lists. They come from creating small moments, shared pauses, and playful structure that makes planning feel like time together—not another task. This guide focuses on fun, realistic practices that keep you connected, productive, and sane, without turning either of you into a wedding expert or project manager.

Start With Shared Energy, Not Shared Pressure

One of the most overlooked wedding planning practices is setting the tone of how you’ll work together. Before tasks get assigned or timelines are discussed, it helps to agree—out loud—that this process is allowed to feel light.

Instead of texting, “Can you help me pick invitations?” you might say, “Can we make a fun afternoon of this?” That tiny shift changes everything. It sets expectations that planning can include snacks, laughter, and breaks.

Helpful practices that keep energy balanced:

 • Schedule planning time instead of squeezing it in

 • Pair decisions with something enjoyable

 • Allow sessions to end early if focus fades

 • Celebrate small wins together

I’ve noticed that when planning time feels intentional rather than urgent, conversations stay kinder and decisions feel easier.

Make Planning Feel Like an Event (Lavender-Themed Activity)

Turning planning into a mini experience gives your maid of honor a clear role while making the process feel special.

How-To: Lavender Planning Break Activity (Bullet Steps)

This activity works beautifully during a longer planning session when brains start to feel tired.

 • Set up a small lavender-infused refreshment station

 • Use lavender lemonade, lavender water, or herbal tea

 • Add a light lavender snack (shortbread or fruit)

 • Take a 15–20 minute pause from decisions

 • Sit somewhere comfortable—outside if possible

 • Chat about anything other than the wedding

 • Return to planning refreshed

Why lavender works here:

Lavender naturally signals calm. Even subtle scent or flavor can help reset the nervous system, which makes tough decisions feel less intense.

I’ve found that these breaks often lead to better ideas—not because we tried harder, but because we stopped pushing.

How to Plan a Productive (and Fun) Wedding Planning Session Together

How-To: A Balanced Planning Session 

 1. Pick one clear focus for the session

 2. Set a soft time limit (60–90 minutes max)

 3. Start with the easiest decision first

 4. Save emotionally charged topics for the middle

 5. Take a break halfway through

 6. End with one small win or conclusion

 7. Stop before energy fully drops

This approach prevents burnout and keeps your maid of honor from feeling overwhelmed. It also avoids that moment where everything suddenly feels heavy for no clear reason.

A practical example: instead of trying to choose all décor, focus on centerpieces only. You’ll walk away feeling accomplished instead of drained.

What to Pair With Planning Time (Snacks That Actually Help)

Food matters more than people admit during wedding planning. The right snacks support focus and mood, while the wrong ones can cause crashes or distractions.

Light + grounding options:

 • Lavender honey shortbread

 • Fresh berries or grapes

 • Cheese with mild crackers

 • Nuts with a touch of sweetness

What to skip:

 • Heavy meals mid-session

 • Overly sugary treats

 • Anything messy or distracting

Why this works:

Light snacks keep energy steady and allow conversation to flow without interruption. It sounds small, but it makes a noticeable difference.

I’ve noticed that when snacks are intentional, planning feels cared for rather than rushed.

How to Present Planning Time So It Feels Special (Not Stressful)

Presentation isn’t about perfection—it’s about invitation.

Simple Presentation Tips

 • Use one clean surface for planning materials

 • Keep drinks and snacks slightly separate

 • Light a candle or use natural light

 • Play soft background music

 • Avoid clutter and open tabs

A practical example: placing all planning papers in one folder or tray instantly makes the session feel contained instead of chaotic.

When the space feels calm, conversations tend to follow.

FAQs + Common Mistakes to Avoid When Planning With Your Maid of Honor

How involved should my maid of honor be?

As involved as feels comfortable for both of you. Clarity matters more than quantity.

What if we have different styles or opinions?

Agree ahead of time on decision boundaries so discussions stay respectful.

Mistake: Turning your maid of honor into a project manager

Fix: Share responsibility, not pressure

Mistake: Planning only when stressed

Fix: Schedule calm, intentional sessions

Mistake: Ignoring emotional energy

Fix: Take breaks before frustration builds

Mistake: Overloading one session

Fix: Focus on one topic at a time

Maid of Honor Moments

Wedding planning with your maid of honor doesn’t have to feel heavy to be effective. When you build in small rituals, shared breaks, and thoughtful structure, planning becomes something you remember fondly instead of something you survive.

The best practice I’ve seen? Treat the process like part of the celebration—not a hurdle before it.

Wishing you the best at your beautiful wedding! ✨

Warmly,

Jenna